Its the mid of yet another week and im here about to right my last weekend stuff... Thou sm hw i always endup writing about my weekends ..thats the only two days i have, that pulls me through the weekdays ..... It also gives me the point to look fwd to see u online gal ...

Sat was a routnie day..till the rains made it special in the evening.. Went for a walk in the rains at the usuall marine drive stretch with an ol pal...Was such a joy walking n seeing people enjoy the magic...

sun was kept for a lot of pending stuff which i kept avoiding.. but by noon i was sure im gona avoid it today tooo.. so there i was off to watch a movie...

Mon mornings usually brings a sad end and pinches me into the reality... But after long time a mon evening bought more cheer to me as i finaallly finaalllyy got to chat with u gal ... U cant imagine the relief i had... Was so happpy to hear the few lines of update frm ur end ... Thou u started in the very routine sm ol stuff...But neverthless was so good to talk wth u after long... Thou i personally never like the long (forced) breaks... thanks for showing the patience..

this sun i hv a wedding to attend of a close friend of mine .. sm1 with whom i connected instantly... Hope i can make it to the reception .. Minus the rain showers...

Its been nothing sort of a dramatic end to the month..... to say that this was the most eventful one so far this year ... With no job in hand still, i was missing the normal routine that usually marks my month end.. the chasing of sales figure in the last few days, followed by reviews n target settings.... so this month end was different to say the least ... My emotions ran high as my friend finally got engaged.. his engagement function was followed by his bday surprise...

but then along with the joy came the disappointment ...the :( of not being able to reach for my friends engagement on time... And chap I was disappointed with you ... But as it has happened so often in the last few months .. I had no option but to jus feel it within me and carry the baggage...

half of this year has gone and it seems all the equations around me has changed ... People who mattered to me have moved on ... Dunno if i hv moved away or jus been rooted at one place while those around me defining new equations... Its tough really tough...

i still miss u gal .. I knw i hv messed up with ur head big-time .. I realise it was wrong on my part to sound so vulnerable n at times possessive .. But trust me on one thing.. the emotion & concern i felt n still hold cant get more genuine n real ... But may be i was jus too edgy n pushed u most of the time for the updates ... Im sorry .. Will always wish the best for u in life

Recently I found out just how fragile life can be. I figured out just how empty my life could be without someone.... still cant find any reason for ur silence... would really help if u speak up....its hurts to see u online n not able to talk .. add to it ur silence kills...

i hate myself for messing with your head, just show you care, that's all i really want..... time spent waiting for you to realize that i've been here ...for all time just waiting for you to notice, for you to see that im there for you

I found out that life is just simply, not fair or unfair, but just full of unexpected crap that is eventually turned into some sort of life lesson i wish i never had to deal with in the first place, but for this it wasn't my choice.

i miss u gall ..

I believe in the miracle called life, esp if the miracle occurs at a particular time in which you are comfortable

I believe that I am not in the worst situation I can be in, but I have tasted certain bitter things and they haven’t hurt me per-se but given me experience and courage to face another day…..Because the world isn’t sugarcoating, pats on the back.. it has some downfalls – and they can be overcome with experience, knowledge and love

And that’s not saying I don’t breakdown sometimes- because I do- and I bet there are times when you wouldn't recognize me

It is really really hard to stay optimistic in times like this, especially when I have seen just how cruel life can be. It was a situation just like this, that sparked my loss of faith, because it was soo cruel and unreal…but because it was as real as real could be, I lost my faith. I’m scared and i know this tooo shall pass ...

How well do you know urself

Well last few days I hv taken three “ how well u know ‘ xyz ‘ quiz “ @ fb .. and boy the scores where 50% followed by two scores of 0% ... .. now 0% is jus not d rit number to b flashed across evry1 home page .. but as if I really care abt wats d score ..and as if it really shows the connection between the two of us ..
After taking those quizzes I saw an option of > create your own quiz <.. huhhh .... do I really have answers to my own qtn .. I better know myself first … so here it is

**** the questions are random thoughts so are the answers *****


Get to know UrSelf better

View on yourself:
Emotional

Down-to-earth and people either like / hate me because im straightforward.

An efficient problem solver because I will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision.

take really long time to complete reading a book ..


The right job for you:

Thou a self-content man.. Have many goals and want to achieve as much as I can. The jobs i enjoy are those that let me burn off my considerable excess energy. But somewhere I feel going solo is the way fwd for me ..

What inspires you about Mumbai :

Mumbai’s daily life. The struggle and opportunities it offers . current events .. and walk at marine drive ..

The type of girlfriend you are looking for:

Not looking merely for a girl– im looking for a partner.
Perhaps I should be more open-minded about who i spend time with. The person im looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

Ideal :: Prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether I will commit to the relationship. ::
But im not tooo choosy either .. all game for a blind date and see how things work out ..

The seriousness of your love:

Very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time and giving wrong signals with people I don't really like. If I meet the right person, I will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

How do you view success:

Not afraid of failure and not scared to have a go at an alternative career i would like to have incase i don't succeed. I Don't give up when i haven't yet even started!


Miscellanious

Steffi Graf / Rahul Dravid / Boris becker / Stefen Edberg / sonali bendre / man utd /bryan adams / mltr / kishore kumar /priyanka chopra / pele / maradona / ar rehman / dil se / rang de basanti / sushmita sen / jaane bhi do yaaron .....

Fav joint
kayani / regal barista / gazalee / 5spice

What are you most afraid of:
Dogs
Afraid of having no one to rely on ..
loosing my mom


Who is your true self:
mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. Sometimes I find myself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which my heart rather than my head needs to solve.

And finally a very emotional lover ..

Today is one of those days that makes me want to poke my eyes out with the back end of a spoon....

I’m in the middle of the post-glorious-weekend slump… i guess a lot of my ‘blah’ feelings come from the fact that i’m having a tough time figuring out my next step. i’m caught between making plans and not having the ability to make plans

I want to stop focusing on the negative and reflect on the positive. I want to go for a walk and drink some damn ice tea !!!

Everything else I’d like to move on from....

i also wanted to ask you about ur updates ... Sooo wanted to know abt ur work / project / lunch / etc etc ... But was jus scared that ill complicate it and ull misunderstand the already messed up words i use ...

So im asking u here .. :: how are u ? :: Hws wrk ? :: Hws hlth ? ..

i know the answer to these are pretty much the routine.. "Nothing new sm ol" , but i really wanna know !!

if only you had realised that i hv been consistent in asking you abt ur updates.. And you being equally consistent in breaking the news late ...

but for now i hope you doing fine .. And i so wish the ol chat days were back ...

take care ..

i have been thinking about this for weeks now.. its been running on my mind ever since my friend got engaged ... the question was how to make it special for him ... my friends a traditional fella .. & likes surprises or things in a more organised way.. so the only thing that i could zero down was a dinner party .. for the couple ... with close friends ..

hopefully ill get the confirmation not from the couple in question .. but from one of our friend who always has some or the other seminar cum workshop cum lecture cum b........ scheduled most weekends ...

he'l be confirming by mon or tue ... and hoping evrything works out ...

PS : the cutting chai @ 3 am [ shimla cold drinks ] was jus tooo goood .. thankss Dr ... !!

Inspiron

 There is a long distance between how i am and how i like to be…. one of them is an ordinary individual always busy with different happenings around him with a mind which is full of ordinary subjects.... but the other one is an important person who has lots of self belief, with a strong mind !!

During the past years till now, i have tried to make this distance smaller and smaller…… and im still tryin….  this is what gives a meaning to the life, "trying hard for a perfect goal" .

For now… i hope to find a good job as soon as possible, because without a job you don't know who exactly you are, how much you earn and when your free time is. This is what i call "a suspended life". There is no way to give good shape to a suspended life.

I make the worst first impressions....most of the time i am rude and sarcastic.... i can be really mean, it’s true. 

I believe in sarcasm and speaking my mind- even at the most inappropriate times. If I feel it i say it- though sometimes I modify it to be classy

sorry to everyone  who i might have been mean to ....

 finally after months... had a really good time with u guys ...  nariman point and then barista works i guess ...  thanks !!

i wish i had

Sometimes I wish i could take pictures of total strangers without looking like a total creep. For example, i tried to take a pic  of a gal sitting at the opp table @ barista ... by pretending to take a picture of my friend ... instead i have a pic of a blurry gal in the back and my friends cheek .. not so successful ... or else i could hv  successfully accomplished  being the biggest creep ever .... 

what made me click that gal ... hmm she had the most bizzare make up on her face ... to go with loud dress she wore ... hmmm  after 10 mins of distraction  she walked out  .... 

and  to u my friend ....... tere sang ek simple si coffee bhi kick deti hai !!

For my sis whose birthday is today .. 2nd june .... 

I am writing you to wish you a happy birthday. I was hoping u'll would  be here for the celebration, since u guys  cannot arrive on time , i thought i would celeberate all alone ..  

I hope your birthday is the best !!

racial attacks ..

well its sad and condemnable to whats going on in australia from past few  days...  but having said that... its high time we introspect the state of affairs back here in india.. where racism exisit based on geography ....

 we have our local heroes from bihar / u p / and more recently in maharhastra (mumbai) where vote bank politics leads to attacks on our own countrymen... we  need  to end this in our land , so as to command respect frm others watching us from abroad...

 we cant give advice to people abroad when its exists in our own country... ofcourse in no way im saying wat happened in aus or for that matter  in europe  is right .. and we need to take  a firm stand not only to racist attacks abroad but back here in india too ....   

flashback

i was cleaning my room and amongst the dust / magzns / files / loose papers ...  i got hold of few of my old diaries .. hmm .. as i hold those diaries .. and turned the pages .. it was flashback time ..   

as i sit & write this blog.. i wonder & debate within about the "personal notes" vs  blog ...  

im sure & would like to believe that ... during all these years of my notes lying there .. my sis's havent got their hands on it .. hmmm where as reading this blog, its a cakewalk for them ... but i guess  my sis's knw it all .. theres nothing hidden apart from  few well kept secrets ...  

how i wished i had continued writing .. but for sm reason i stopped ... its been 6 yrs to be precise... but co-incidently the reason i stopped n the reson i started (blogging) again is correlated ... 

for now .. il go back and read those notes again ... flashback of a fool !!

You’re so pretty on Facebook !!

Few days back while i was online........ i saw the updates on my facebook home page and what followed was breathtakin and left me speechless  : : : 

just wanted to tell u that ... You are so pretty in your facebook pictures, you’re like a gem. Much prettier than when i met  you...

Hope u take this one as a good compliment, rather then a Yawn to match it

 

I don’t think I’ve ever called anyone a gem before. But it doesn’t matter because apparently you are much prettier online than I last saw u ... 

random click

Gor Dhana (Engagement)

I had never dreamt that it was possible to feel as happy and proud as i do rigt now... my friend got engaged .... and its such a good news to his folks ... friends ... to himself ... and to all who know him ... in the space of time hes found a friend ... a lover ... and his soulmate  ~ 

And now the planning starts…………….

mom... miss u

A life alone…. alone at home … because your not here. some days are harder than others. I sit on my bed, and think of you. All I know is that your not with me… months have come and gone... how am i still standing on my own.....

Having a mom like you has been such a joy.... placing me back in the place of childhood dreams....your hugs and kisses made it all better way back then...Mom, I need them now as much as when I was a boy... only a little more as I am now a man, or trying to be 

You mean so much to me and I want to say Happy Mother’s Day!

PS : its been 4 mtnhs now .... come back soon ... mom ...  miss  u ..

..... at this very moment I need a hug but I won't ask for it to do so would reveal my needs those pains I desperately hide ..