end of an era and a new season of our f.r.i.e.n.d.ship

dont know why i am writing this, my heart just move on its wish. Its just some lines in random... i remember you from the first day in the junior class but it is such a wonderful discovery to get a friend among many. I don’t know how deep our friendship is, i dont feel any bindings with you, why you mean so much to me is something very difficult to describe... but there are things so perfect that don’t show, they can be only felt and that’s what is here to stay.

9th march 2o11 6:30pm, as i got down from the cab outside 23/25, i was a lil heavy on my mind... it wasn't the same feeling and as i took the steps towards the back gate ...the nostalgia strikes... dunno if ill be waiting again for the pick up or the random evening plans would start from this road again... but somewhere i knew the end of the era for you is the best step ahead... and today it was your last day at work and i had to be there... i just felt part of your anxious and nostalgic moments.. and as we stepped out, there was an instant flashback of the good times we had starting from this very junction..

I don’t actually remember how our friendship grew to become this strong, compatible and true. You understand as i do, that there is a power in good friendship that distance, time, obstacles of any nature, cannot stop. It is strength and an odd calm with merely the thought of such people in your life.

Im glad our new season of friendship has begun and this ones sure going to go beyond the ten seasons.. *no evil eye*

thanks and all the very best always.

The Lost Hero

You really saw deep into the man Vinod Kambli provided. very well done and i truly liked it where you took it.. this was simply amazing....one of those romances..you connect dots like no one else.

i've definitely got to read more of your writing. your talent doesn't cease to amaze me from what i've read thus far and the title is perfect..

all the very best... always ... keep writing

last christmas, i gave you my heart
but the very next day, you gave it away

this year, to save me from tears
"i'll still give it to you again"

sometimes the things you want the most don't happen and what you least expect happens. i don't know - you meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you. And then you meet that one person and your life is changed.

greatness

Most of us live modest lives which are spent in the work of daily round. The desire for bigness --- to live in a big city, to draw a big salary, to make a big impression, to receive big publicity, has hurt so many people. This is wrong idea of greatness.

This fallacy of bigness will bring us to the end of life disillusioned and disappointed. All great lives are modest. Modesty comes from service, never from pretence. The secret of all greatness is to find your place of service and be true to it. A life of service will ever remain the true standard of greatness

In the end, its just going to be that same rotten story...once again if you ask how i'm doing, there is only one word that would cross my mind - tired, and my body isn't the only worn-out one.

I'm tired of having to pull it together...tired of having to compromise so that on weekends i can live happily,tired of all the misguided arguments,tired of trying to stand my ground when no one even listens or cares for that matter,tired of the hustle,tired of entertaining,tired of having to rise to the occasion,tired of being judged

If you're asking for some sort of explanation, i have none to offer.There is absolutely no rational explanation to why i feel this way. I have been asking myself repetitively, but nothing...nothing can explain why there are times when i am adrift, and i become unresponsive.Nothing can explain why i do not mix around with people around me lately, and nothing can explain why i keep everything to myself.

I just want my life to stay just the way it is because adding more people to it would just complicate things more.

through the eyes of a realist....

I'm just gonna have to live with it. Bottling up my feelings isn't really the right way to go, i admit.... but its only because you've made it absolutely crystal clear.

there's no denying it, i've really had it...that's just the last straw.. how i should just bend a little,let loose and just blurt out my feelings towards you. I know its an utter weakness,not being able to say what i mean, but that's just the thing i would never risk,expressing to you again. i would never have the guts to jeopardize our friendship - not in a million years.

How could someone read in between the lines of all your mixed messages? like you give someone a little piece of hope, and then just smash it down again. without even the littlest bit of remorse. They say what goes around comes around , and i know this is just karma, biting me back.

Guess i'll always see you in a way, you'll never ever see me. 'wrong decision' once again, but what can i do, i'm only human. weak and vulnerable.

I've told myself many times,i'm just not the desperate type... and i'm just gonna let everything die, 'cause sometimes its not worth it, anticipating something that will never come'

I guess i'm just gonna let you go. Life is fair in its own ways, and this i see through the eyes of a realist and a few years from now, we'll be happy to see each other with someone else.

I'm Ready

happy birthday!! my best wishes n good luck in all that you do!

something you (should) know about


I'd like to see ya - thought I'd let ya know
I wanna be with ya everyday
Cause I got a feelin' that's beginning to grow
And there's only one thing I wanna say

I'm Ready - To Love Ya
I'm Ready - To Hold Ya
I'm Ready - To Love Ya
I'm Ready - To Hold Ya
Ready as - I'm gonna be

She left me a long note when she left me here
Told me that love was hard to find
But baby it's easy and I'll make it clear
There's only one thing on my mind
I'm Ready


{Artist|Title : Bryan Adams |I'm Ready}

Rocky Balboa :: Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.

You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done.

Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!!!

sometimes its too early to regret and too late to realize, don't know if I have to regret or realize

but all i can say today is that i love my sisters very very very much ... i pray that Allah guide and bless you'll with loads of happiness always !!

Smiles Are Contagious

Every little happy moment starts with a smile…It starts in our brain...goes to our neurons...then to our muscles...and finally shows up on our face...that smile is then given to another and then another..

My friend recently bought a DSLR Canon 500D and could see him happy and smile and i just couldn't help but smile.. your happiness is my happiness.. remember i love seeing you smile

spread a smile once in a while you never know who might need it..

and to you my friend happy clicking !!!

“ might jst give up some day.......donno when tht day is ”

as we instant message, i can feel the love through the keyboard. i doubt if you can feel the concern behind the messages i try to share to you? i hope you do. because when i type those words on the screen, i pour my whole love to you on this keyboard.

and im sure if this was typed in ur chat box, the reply would be the countless ‘zzzzzzzzzzzzz’ .. while we're miles a part just remember that i'm not perfect but i know that i don't want to give you up

“might jst give up some day.......donno when tht day is”

random lines

"nothn is actually"

"look at the conversatn......go thrgh it once again mayb u will get it"

"ok i do.
hope this will help move on "

"ul always be spcll to me fr more den one reasons"

"thnks"

here are some things that i have always wanted to do, have planned to do but never got down to doing : (In random order)
join a gym
watch my diet (Ahem)
manage my finances! Learn how to use a bank!
do a course in foreign languages
go for daily walks
be more attentive in my prayers
behave better with my parents
read!! There is soooo much that i need to read but just keep putting it off
become a photographer.

Friends

i never knew how life could be lived, until i met you, and everyone else.

i always wanted to be welcomed, with open arms and love to surround me, my friends are the family i chose, they are there for me.. for themselves and our friendship..they are like a family i have dreamed of, they comfort me, welcome me, and love me.

my friends lead me to a new life i never knew of.. new interests,new jokes,new hugs i never got.. i never knew how to be myself, never knew how to laugh at myself, my friends told me how to.. at times i never wanted to stand up for myself, thanks to you guys.. now i do

i never knew how to make a fool of myself,until i was introduced to life,they are my friends.. Guys ul will always be special to me !!!

And to ma angel all the very best ... cant wait to meet u

i have been doing a lot of thinking and rethinking, i have hit a rough patch, and have had to make a lot of hard decisions. It was only a few months ago that i was so very bound - to people's words, their opinions, my own misconceptions… i know that finding answers usually leaves me remembering things wish i didn't, but im glad i did.

where do i go from here? seeing myself at this point, im definite that this is as good as its going to get... not saying im doing great, but for once im just so content actually feeling like i have all i need lately and that there is something greater - and bigger - to my life.

someone once told me, there's beauty in brokenness. if letting go gives a better grip, i sure hope they're right.

I thank You for this day !!!

i cannot even begin to explain the satisfaction of my heart today and the fact that i am aware that in that split second i hung in the balance totally out of my hands and my control...

In that moment of 'in between' im more than appreciative for god held me & let me never take a single moment with you for granted. you seemed to be prepared for the 'NO' so was I .. you left me lost, broken but alive and smiling, in the memories that were once so real

grateful that in the moments dat i lost you & still found you smiling at me. all d best for ur job and safe journey back.

I thank You for this day !!!

i've gone too long living like this,few months from now,this all wouldn't matter anymore for me....for you,well it never did. might think i'm selfish... but you don't know how it feels sometimes to be there for a person so unconditionally,when i can't call u or text u just to say that im thinking of u... and when i call or try to talk,its wrong to you...

there’s a part of me,that knows last seven years a lot of things have changed, a lot of my life has changed... But there’s another part of me, a big part of me that doesn't regret a bit of it.. gotta prove i can make it through the hardest times even after making the biggest crack in my life...

nobody is indispensable... life goes on just as always...i need more then a new start,i need a new heart.

ps : i Like u

I've been wanting to write this for months,which even makes it harder to think of where to begin, or how to say things, because it just seems so important to not come off as horrible to you, even though i do anyways, maybe i shouldn't try so hard?

meanwhile,there's me,sitting quietly in my own separate fantasy world...i think,i can just pretend you love me and it feels better,then there is some part of me that says its disgusting, and opinions from people closest to me aren't really audible

i do a lot of dumb shit that reminds me of you, followed every time with the word, ‘whatever’ almost like it helps me snap back into reality and gosh i know this is going no where.

realized i've been blaming myself for a lot of this, when really, its not all my fault... but i do blame myself a lot.

its the fact that i'm not inconsiderate,its the fact that because i care too much,i tend to feel so sad and guilty on how things are turning out... because you make me so sad, my sadness turns to anger...that's why i may seem inconsiderate, because i scream and ask,and to you,i'm in the wrong

then half the time I'm wondering ‘why you so badly love her’ ..i wonder endlessly what is it ?!!?

but i understand love doesn't work that way... you cant just have someone love you the same way you love them. and i have this what you may call ‘strong unease, gut feeling’ that im going to end up hurting myself

sorry i wrote it in here... needed to be said. probably more that's hiding from me.. but i can always write more

PS : I like you

i was just wondering who to talk to about yesterday’s happenings. i hope you won’t mind that u came to mind. u seem to be someone who would listen without judging harshly. but i pretend and i am learning to jus keep my opinions to myself ..

charlie i don’t hate u at all, i just hate what is lacking in my life. we have grown so far apart that i only want to run away and see if either of us would miss the daily grind of life without the other..i just want to not dread having to search for things to say and then u not there to listen....i fear i am the same towards u… i can’t get past the idea that i was shocked. and in awe of ur stern denial of my evaluation of the situation last year. you could not get past the fact. i just want to relax in the coming year. it’s too much of a struggle for me.

now when i look back , n think i could hv avoided a lot of my emotions that night ..was i being selfish? i thought i was giving to u what i want for myself….i truly believed u would be as relieved with the temp phase of silence but as u say arguments go on and so does this bond …

please accept my admission of guilt. thanks for listening.

so it is the end of 2009, it went on, and on; till i finally realized i had to give up that life for the better. It was the wasted days alright. its the ol' days wasted with the heartbreaker, the backstabbers, the fakes, the posh, the famous, the recessions, the job loss , the job offers, the emo shits. the worthless nights, the meaningless chats...

sleeping when the sun rises, waking up when the sun was about to sleep. laughing and being online till you just forget the world at four in the morning; i walked through the grins, the smiles, the tears, the shit. i still wonder whether that was who i truly was, or me losing myself. today, i still wonder who i really am ..

eventhough i lacked perseverance, lacked studies, lacked opportunities, i made loads of memories. home alone days,the night outs, jab ve met bnglore - mum , pik up and drop to the airport, 24x7 online ... i also temp lost closest friends, made new ones, and some stayed with me throughout my journey. i am eternally grateful to you guys!!

also this day starts a new beginning for my angel... MJ u deserve d best!!